Finishing all of my assignments has had a bit of an adverse effect on my mood.
Now i'm not pre-occupied i have too much time to think about what's going on inside my head, and it's still completely all over the place.

On another note, Nature's Law has really really grown on me. Only because of Richard's middle 8 though. He hasn't sung on anything for 5 years or so. It's been missed.

Wine, estate agents and orange juice.

This has been my life over the last day or two.

Am I an alcoholic? Maybe.

It's been a while.


I only ever seem to come back here when i'm pissed off. So yeah, i'm pissed off. Again.

I must have dropped hints at least a couple of times every day this week, but every time it was ignored, and every time i got more and more frustrated. But fuck it. She doesn't want to see me again, that much is obvious. I just wanted to get to know her and spend time with her.

Butterflies? Bullshit.

My myspace stalker is a bit scary.

http://www.myspace.com/xgraemex


Basically, he is me!

Sigh.

I really need to clean my drawer out more often.

Tonight I found the tracklisting that i'd scribbled down for the CD that I made Alice.

It made me think.

I really really wish I could go back in time to then. I'd do a lot of things differently, and maybe things wouldn't be the way they are now.

It's the past and it can't be changed, but if everything happens for a reason, why did this happen? To make me unhappy for 2-3 months? That's shit.



wasted time.
i can not say that i was ready for this.
but when worlds collide,
and all that i have is all that i want.
the words seem to flow
and the thoughts they keep running.
and all that i have is yours.
all that i am is yours.

Mae - The Sun and The Moon

I had a very VERY strange dream last night. I was playing football on Hyde Park (that's not even the strangest bit!) and suddenly a copper turns up, pulls out a light meter like the ones umpires use at the cricket, and orders everyone off the park, saying it's too dark and dangerous to play football. I really need to stop eating cheese before I go to bed.


I've been attempting to get to grips with my assignment on RRG today. It still goes totally over my head, and i've decided that making the 20% minimum fail mark will be enough, because I don't think I have the time, ability or motivation to get to 40% and pass the module. I have 5% from the first stage, so I need 15% from the remaining 90% to get an acceptable fail, or 35% to pass. If the examiners have no idea what RRG is then I might have a chance, because i'm good at talking bollocks.

I want to be back in Leeds. I want to download more Mae and stop eating so much food. I always lose weight when i'm in Leeds, it's great.

I'm not very happy that a friend of mine is still keeping in touch (in a very public way) with someone completely evil and someone who set out to hurt me in so many ways.

In the past 8-9 days i've listened to Tired Today by Anechoic nearly 100 times.

This band deserve to be big.


In other news. I'm back in Liverpool for Christmas.
I would also talk about the Embrace gigs last week, but my Embrace love affair has ended so it's probably best if I don't mention that band for a while.

Tonight was fun. Eventually. I nearly didn't sleep in my own bed, but I thought it would be better to come home and not be a bit....'whorish'.

Last night was a bit odd.
First of all I fell out with Cara because she was ID'd and I had to go home because I wasn't staying in the Dock by myself. I feel guilty for being pissed off, but....I was pissed off. I couldn't hide that.

Anyway. I headed down later with Ewan and Saz for the late shift. Within ten minutes I was recognised by a random man who called me a 'Myspace pimp'. Five minutes later i'm at the bar and a couple of girls ask if I can have my picture taken with their friend, because I look like Matt McNamara from Nip / Tuck. I LOOK NOTHING LIKE HIM. Anyway, I let them have their picture.

If things like this keep happening i'll start to feel like a minor celebrity.